


When I grow up

by Una_Ragazza_Qualunque



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adolescence, Anxiety, Childhood, Happy Birthday Shiro (Voltron), Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Mention of Adam - Freeform, Mention of Shiro's parents, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Shiro (Voltron)-centric, Shiro's fears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 04:25:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17974460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Una_Ragazza_Qualunque/pseuds/Una_Ragazza_Qualunque
Summary: "Shiro stared at the ceiling of his room lying on the bed continuing to move the hand intent on holding the toy of a spaceship, just donated by his parents for his birthday, in a totally uncoordinated flight. Emitting sounds with his mouth, dreaming of being the pilot inside and that, at that moment, his room was the whole universe.When I grow up I want to touch a star.[...]When I grow up I want to remain human.[...]When I grow up I want to be a paladin again."





	When I grow up

Shiro stared at the ceiling of his room lying on the bed continuing to move the hand intent on holding the toy of a spaceship, just donated by his parents for his birthday, in a totally uncoordinated flight. Emitting sounds with his mouth, dreaming of being the pilot inside and that, at that moment, his room was the whole universe.

  


_When I grow up I want to touch a star._

  


  


  


He sat waiting, obedient as he had been told, in that too small hospital room.

The strange smell of which the room was impregnated had made him a headache, or perhaps they had been all those controls, Shiro wasn't sure. Confused, he didn't understand the reason for that visit.

He felt good, but his mother had insisted so much and now, beside him worried, they waited for the results.

When the doctor made his entrance, Shiro immediately noticed that he had a serious look on his face as he took one last look at the medical record in his hand. His mother jumped up, taking a few steps toward him instinctively.

The doctor continued to ignore him as long as he spoke to his mother, but only when Shiro heard mention something he had never heard, something with a complicated name, he saw the doctor put a hand on his mother's shoulder, now in tears , turning to Shiro.

  


_When I grow up I want to go to the moon._

  


  


  


Shiro smiled looking at the tall building in front of him.

At the entrance to the Garrison, he was still struggling to believe he was really there. He gripped the handle of his bag when he remembered his departure from home.

He had argued with his parents for beings there, they were against it due his physical condition. He still remembered his mother was crying while his father was screaming that he didn't want to know anything anymore and that he didn't have to call him when his illness would get worse, as if he had chosen his own destiny.

Shiro had filled the bag with the first things he had found, still hurt, disappointed and angry at his parents's behavior, but aware that nothing could stop him. Not with the future waiting for him.

He took the admission letter and left without saying a word.

  


_When I grow up I want to explore the universe._

  


  


  


Sam was the first to believe in him, perhaps the only one.

He didn't particularly like the nickname he had been given, "The Golden Boy". Although he had worked hard during those years, he didn't feel it his. He was just a student and had already beaten all possible records, becoming the best pilot Garrison had. He knew well that he wasn't perfect and, perhaps, Sam was one of the few who still treated him as a simple human being, with his qualities and his flaws, and not as an idol to put on a pedestal.

He thought that Adam saw him that way too, but when he put Shiro in front of a choice he had hurt him. So much, perhaps more than Adam realized.

He knew that his words, painful as they were, were spewed out by the same pain caused by the choice. He was aware that Adam loved him and was afraid. He was afraid too, but Shiro would rather die than live with regret and give up his dream.

He had seen his father in Adam and, suddenly, the wound had deepened.

Probably his father had been afraid, before then he had never been aggressive, but they had not talked for years now and even Adam now preferred to put the word "end" rather than sit and watch.

Why couldn't he understand like Sam, Matt, or Keith? Why the man he wanted to marry, one day before the disease took over, couldn't understand it?

Shiro, for a moment, had questioned himself and his reasons. Was it selfish to expect Adam to accept in silence? Maybe a little, yes, but as much he understood the Adam's reasons he had no intention to stop right now.

Until the day he had left Earth, Shiro had hoped that one day Adam would understand his desire.

  


_When I grow up I want to do my best._

  


  


  


Shiro wasn't sure how much time had passed.

Like he was entered in an endless loop, the days seemed all the same. The days he didn't spend in the arena, he spent in his cell. Motionless staring at the ceiling, still shaken as if it were the first time. The person in that arena wasn't him, he didn't recognize himself. What was becoming was scared him, yet there were still days when he felt himself and thoughts returned to Earth.

He wondered foolishly if Adam still loved him, if his parents had wondered what happened to him and if Keith was continuing to study.

The Garrison were looking for him? Shiro doubted it but didn't blame them.

When the arms of Morpheus welcomed him, tired by the tortures and absurd trials he was subjected to, the nightmares took over. Awakening was never a cause for relief, where nightmares were failing, the reality was able to take away his sleep.

They had even taken his right arm, but Shiro began to wonder if they had not deprived him of much more.

  


_When I grow up I want to remain human._

  


  


  


Being a leader was something that frightened him immensely, despite trying not to show it.

Of course, it was a big responsibility. A responsibility not only towards the paladins but also towards thousands of lives, the whole universe, and yet if there was something that really frightened him, it was the monster that was still inside him. He was afraid that it was just the monster of the arena, the champion, himself to be the cause of everything.

If he had hurt the paladins, he would never have forgiven himself.

Did he really deserve that role? There were days when he doubted it and then there were days when the paladins, his new family, made him feel like he was in the right place.

Days when they could distract themselves from everything.

Days when they were simply themselves, allowing themselves to behave as teenagers as they were.

Days when Keith looked at him like that, sweetly, managing to melt his heart that Shiro, several times, had feared not to possess anymore.

  


_When I grow up I want to have a family._

  


  


  


When Allura explained what had happened, a sense of disquiet hit his stomach.

He would have been forever grateful for what she had done for him, but to know that he no longer had any connection with Black troubled him.

He still was fully convinced what he had said to Keith, he was proud of him and was happy with the leader he had become, but the thought that he could now become a burden for them, for him, was unbearable.

Shiro looked to his right where there was once his prosthesis. Ironically, he almost missed it.

  


_When I grow up I want to be a paladin again._

  


  


The dazzling light of the sun broke through the window, waking Shiro still lying on the bed.

When he opened his eyes he smiled at the sight of Keith still asleep beside him. Softly, he moved a lock of hair that covered his face and then caressed his cheek uncovered, careful not to disturb him.

Something, or rather someone, however, caught his attention.

Shiro smiled, closing his eyes to pretend to sleep while he could clearly hear a small laugh near the edge of the bed.

When he felt the mattress bend to the new weight, the smile grew wider.

"Happy birthday!" Screamed a small figure, starting to jump, filling the room with the noise of the creak of the mattress springs.

"Urgh." Keith grunted, now awake.

"Hey Yorak, you know you don't have to jump on the bed." Shiro scolded him despite laughing.

Shiro sat up as he picked up the little Galra who was still laughing in his arms. "But we have to celebrate, it's your birthday!"

"Well, it seems like our son is more excited than you." Keith said with a smile on his lips.

"Of course, I love dad very much!" Yorak exclaimed. "When I grow up I want to be like you."

Shiro's heart lost a beat, amazed at hearing those words. A tear ran through his cheek without realizing it.

Keith approached, wiping it off with a kiss. "Happy birthday, Takashi." He whispered still close to his face. "We are grateful that you were born."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
>  Yes, I'm aware of being late for Shiro's birthday and I apologize, but I'm still happy to have written something for his birthday.  
>  I know that all the topics covered should be expanded, but I hope that, despite being small, you liked this fic.  
>  I love Shiro very much and the words can't describe how important he is to me, like for many other people.  
>  Besides being a great reference point, which made me think very much, is one of the most human characters I've ever seen in a show. A character in which you can identify yourself.  
>  I'm sorry that very often people forget what Shiro had to deal with and how important he is, and indeed, how much he is human.  
>  I've been trying with this fan fiction to highlight some of these points.  
>  I'll be honest, the idea came just for the first scene and the last one and maybe that's why it doesn't convince me much but I wanted to celebrate his birthday.  
>  I hope, one day, to write a fic dedicated to Shiro as it should be and that makes him justice.  
>  I hope that at least a little you understood what I wanted to say and that you liked it.  
>  Let me know what you think. See you next time!
> 
> Where to find me:
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Ragazza_Qualunq)[Tumblr ](http://sensiblegirl-fe.tumblr.com/)


End file.
